Unit 9 Project

Introduction

For most of my life, I have known “health” primarily to mean being free of biological disease and dysfunction (physical health), and to a lesser extent not crazy (mental health.) However, the idea of integral health, and the importance of caring for the body, mind, and spirit, offers a much more comprehensive view of wellness, so as both a health practitioner and an individual who wants a good and full life, I choose to develop myself psychologically and spiritually, in addition to physically. Professionally, this is important because it gives me a broader perspective from which to relate to my clients, and allows me to speak from experience when I try to help them toward their own wellness goals. Plus, the personal benefits such as reduced stress and fatigue allow me to perform better on and off the job.

One of my general goals in life is to become better at setting goals! When I think about what I want, I have a hard time putting together pictures of real, concrete things in my mind: my dreams are more the ideas of feelings I want to either continue to have or have someday in the future. This isn't inherently bad, but it does make writing a business plan difficult. I think that sometimes I'm afraid to reach for specific things because I don't want to have to deal with not getting them. This inability to set real goals has not done me any real harm yet – I really, truly love my life and am satisfied in almost all respects almost all the time – but that it will one day catch up to me (probably with respect to my professional life) is pretty much inevitable. Developing myself spiritually and psychologically, so I grow into someone who does not fear failure because she knows that there can be opportunity and success in everything, will help me reach this goal.

Assessment

To inventory my health in each category – physical, psychological, spiritual – I revisited The Integral Assessment and tried to be objective about all 12 possible lines of development (Dacher, 2006, pp. 105-116). Seeing what facets of my life are strongest was simple, but it was more difficult to judge myself in the areas that I believe need work because I wanted neither to overestimate my development just to go easy on myself, nor overcompensate and not give myself any credit.

Biologically, I'm basically squared away. I love exercise and fitness, and think of myself as an active, energetic person. Likewise, I care a lot about the food I eat and consider my nutritional and culinary preferences an important part of who I am in how my choices impact my health, the welfare of other people and creatures, and the condition of the planet. As for self-regulation, I've always wondered if one reason I don't get sick is that when I start to feel something coming on, I refuse to let it happen, and have a little chat with myself about how it's just not possible that I'm sick. I'm not convinced I have powerful healing abilities, but I do think there's something to it, even if it's just that having a positive attitude boosts the immune system due to decreased stress. (Dacher, 2006, p. 108)

My family line of development – a component of the Interpersonal – is strongest, and I have been improving personally since I started making more of an effort to be social. I would still like to become more involved in my community, but in reasoning through what it means to give to those around me, I see that I do more than I previously thought because for me right now, the distinction between Interpersonal and Worldly is fuzzy: my work and generativity touch the community through improving the health (mainly physically, but I would like to think emotionally and mentally, too) of my clients and literally teaching my students, respectively. For the time being, my social activism is limited to what I do at home (compost, recycle and conserve, adopt shelter animals, etc.) and how I spend my money (shopping at farmers' markets, not eating at fast food restaurants, donating to charitable causes, etc.), although I would love to participate in an outreach vacation someday. (Dacher, 2006, pp. 108-111)

My lines of Psychospiritual development need the most work. I don't mean to imply that I'm a total wreck, because most of the time I just feel happy, even, and stable. Knowing that all my basic survival needs are met leaves me with almost nothing to worry about, even though in times when I've struggled with things like money and time management, the rest of the world has been basically the same as it is now. In hindsight, clearly that stress over how I was going to function on two hours of sleep or pay off accumulating credit card debt spilled over into other, unrelated parts of my life. Now that I don't have those problems, it's as though my stress-fog has lifted and I can see that most things are basically good. I try to send positive energy out into the universe, especially when I'm working with a client who isn't the easiest person to deal with, because I just want the world to be cool (does this qualify as conative development?) That said, I know I need to face my “fear of goal setting,” which seems to be a primarily emotional impediment – possibly with a cognitive solution.

If I had to score my health in each of the three levels of development, I would give myself: Physical A-, Emotional B-, and Spiritual B.

Goals

• Physical – complete a triathlon before I turn 31 (April 2014.)
• Psychological – (other than learning how to set goals) don't allow weird behavior from my pets to take me out of my reasoning self and into my emotional self; remind of what I know about what motivates animals and think about how I can improve a situation instead of reacting crazily to it.
• Spiritual – expand the focus of my yoga practice from the body and mind to put more emphasis on the soul; use my practice as a jumping-off point for better integrating all three components in other aspects of my life.

Practices

• Physical – incorporate regular running into my workout regime (I only do so sporadically now), and find an affordable way to gain year-round access to a pool. Truthfully, I've always fluctuated between “tolerate” and “loathe” on the Running Enjoyment scale. But you have to run to do a triathlon. Improving myself enough physically to meet this goal will actually probably be a question of mind over matter, as I will probably do best if I can learn to love running. One technique I can try is to treat physical training as mental training, to clear my mind of the, “Why am I running? I hate running,” thoughts that are usually there. I will also use visualization – picturing the physical changes exercise creates – to make my runs more effective. (Dacher, 2006, p. 82)
• Psychological – the Loving Kindness exercise could help me start each day on an even keel, and put me in a generally compassionate mood (Dacher, 2006, pp. 68-69). When I feel the kind of peace that this exercise leaves me with, I don't get annoyed as easily. So, why not do it every morning? Another technique I can use is to create a mantra that I can repeat when a potentially stressful pet situation starts to brew. Combined with breath control, I think this will help me stay rational. It might also be helpful to further educate myself on animal behavior, or at least to periodically reread books like Animals in Translation (Temple Grandin, the “cow chute” lady) so the ideas are fresh in my mind.
• Spiritual – yoga citta vritti nirodhah: “Yoga is the quieting of the wandering of the mind,” is just one translation of the words of Patanjali, credited with writing the Yoga-Sutra. I've gotten away from this idea, the intended essence of yogic practice, since I stopped teaching, probably because I don't bother to talk myself through the breathing and the thought-calming like I used to do in class. There are many easy, obvious solutions to help me re-grow my practice: take classes from other teachers, begin and end each session with meditation, listen to appropriate music when I do yoga, and give more time to savasana (corpse/absorption pose.) I found a neat-looking website called Omstream that I think will be a good audio resource for my purposes: http://omstream.com/

Commitment

• Physical – log my workouts in an online or paper journal to stay accountable and keep track of distance/time. Seeing the numbers move will be a sign of progress. In general, this is a good strategy for making fitness and nutrition changes, so I can use it in the long-term, even when my goals are different. I will also know I've improved when my inner running-hating monologue is gone.
• Psychological – the best measure of my success is how the pets look, feel, and act. If they get sick a lot, hide or run away, or skip meals, I'll know I'm not making progress. If they stay healthy, want to be around me, and congregate for feeding, the opposite will be true. The frequency of strange events will also be a sign of whether I'm doing a good job: the less the dog freaks out for no apparent reason, the less emotionally disturbed she is, which probably means I'm creating an environment where she feels happy and safe. In strengthening my mental focus during pet incidents, I will be improving their lives; that should be all the reason I need to continue the habit long-term.
• Spiritual – notice how much time I spend in practice; pay attention to how long I can hold asanas; get the opinion of another yogi or yogini. In the past, when I have put more into the spiritual aspect of yoga, I have also been more physically successful: when my heart and mind are calm, I have more strength and endurance in my poses, and I'm able to stretch out the length of each session. An instructor will also be able to tell me whether he or she has seen improvement in my practice. To help me maintain this aspect of my wellness long-term, I can buy multi-class passes or sign up for full sessions instead of paying drop-in fees. Pay in advance will help motivate me to show up and do my best because I like to get the most for my money!

Reference

Dacher, E. (2006). Integral Health: the Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Greatest Hits

The exercises that did the most for me were the Subtle Mind and Loving Kindness (Dacher, 2006, pp. 75-77; pp. 68-69). I enjoy them and feel like I get something out of each time I do them. I think this is because they're very basic, and their simplicity allows me to just settle into the practice and really open up, instead of getting caught up in a script (as in Universal Loving Kindness) or having to focus on something I don't really care about. As a means of developing my mental fitness, I can try to incorporate both practices into my everyday life.

Loving Kindness would be a great way to start and end the day; whenever I do the exercise, I feel like I have “reset” my feelings toward the rest of the world, even if I've recently been offended, slighted, or just generally irritated by how people act. It's a short meditation, so I'm pretty sure I can spare half an hour each day for my own sanity (lol.)

I don't often have trouble sleeping, but when I do it's because I can't stop thinking about something that happened, or something that's about to happen. I believe that the Subtle Mind exercise would help me clear my head and shake off the mental chatter that keeps me up. Also, the attention to breath would prepare me physically for sleep. My husband would probably appreciate my doing this exercise instead of tossing and turning, or getting in and out of bed constantly, too.

Reference

Dacher, E. (2006). Integral Health: the Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Meeting Aesclepius

This week's exercise had me thinking about my amazing Chinese grandfather, "Gung Gung," who passed away 5 years ago, and suffered from Alzheimer's for the last 10 years of his life.  I didn't see him often during that time (he moved from Michigan to Texas when I was in elementary school), so the changes in his health were dramatic and heartbreaking from one visit to the next.  The meditation was an opportunity to reconnect with him, as he was before his illness.  I felt warm and full, peaceful and open, but at the same time a little sad.

I can't say that the meditation we have done for this class has exactly overhauled my psychological and spiritual wellness, because I don't think I was out-of-joint to begin with, but I am glad of the "opportunity" (thanks, woodcarver, lol!) to commit to practicing mindfulness regularly.  I have been trying to ease into each day rather than jumping out of bed and taking off running then never slowing down until my head hits the pillow at the end of the night, and meditating each morning is something that has helped me do that, which I believe I will continue once this course is over.  This is definitely better for my health than zipping through the day in permanent sympathetic mode.

To me, the saying, "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself," means you can't rightfully give advice about something you've never tried.  For an integral wellness professional, this translates to exploring all facets of your own health, from the physical, to the mental, to the spiritual.  I suppose that if, for example, you're a personal trainer in a setting where your clients are only interested in working out, you aren't ethically obligated to have psychological and spiritual expertise, but at the same time, doesn't improving yourself in these areas enable you to better understand and relate to others?  And any time you are on the professional end of a client/practitioner relationship, I believe that half the battle is establishing a connection with your client, if only so they trust you to give them your best.

I also think it's important to be OK with not being perfect in all these respects, and to be honest about your imperfections, preferably in the context of putting forth effort to change and grow.  If you pretend like you're infallible, your clients might falsely believe that you expect the same from them, and that could be counterproductive.  One way to encourage my own personal evolution is to periodically use Dacher's self-assessment method, so I can make sure my practice is in line with the areas that need work, and appropriate for the logistics of my life at the time.

Integral Assessment

This exercise didn't really do it for me the way the previous two meditations did, I think because of the words.  I am totally on board with the sentiment, but I was uneasy having to repeat the phrases.  I inherently get what they are trying to express, but I felt like verbalizing it took away some of the power and authenticity.  The experience of concentrating on universal loving kindness feels a very particular way to me, and I prefer to keep that experience between my heart and the world, and not mix language up in it.

The assessment, on the other hand, I found comfortable and useful.  I discovered that I'm not doing so shabby after all (lol), and that it really isn't that painful to admit to myself the particular areas of my life that could use work.  I want to further develop the “community” aspect of my interpersonal relationships, and engage more in social activism (a worldly line) (Dacher, 2006, pp. 109-110).  I chose these areas because I want to know that more than just having positive thoughts and feelings about others, I can make an immediate and measurable difference in the lives of real people with urgent needs.

Baby steps toward fostering greater wellness in these areas could be to finally get to know my neighbors, volunteer at local events such as the invasive plant workshops my dad runs or river clean-up days, and more consistently financially support and attend rallies for causes that are dear to me.  Further down the line, two things I would like to be able to do are start a community garden and hold free yoga classes for the unemployed.

Reference

Dacher, E. (2006). Integral Health: the Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

The Subtle Mind

• As with the Loving Kindness exercise last week, I enjoyed the Subtle Mind practice for this unit, but for different reasons.  This exercise felt more like a workout, whereas sending all that positive energy out into world in LK seemed more for the universal good than for my own personal development.  (I think I would probably have felt differently about it if I did not already try to think that way, as a baseline, because it would have taken more effort.)  With both exercises, I came away feeling relaxed, open, and unburdened, and did not find anything frustrating.

• Before reading the Dacher chapter, "Biological Flourishing," I was already aware of the connection between spiritual, mental, and physical wellness, if not from hearing about it, then from having experienced balance vs. imbalance.  I used to be sort of an angry person, and I pretty much always felt like I had no direction or purpose -- I felt unfocused and ungrounded, and had a hard time slowing down, calming down.  At this stage in my life, I got sick often.  I signed up for yoga to meet a phys ed requirement at a previous college, and discovered that it helped me connect with myself.  The more I took time to look inward, the easier it became to put what happened outwardly in perspective, and I morphed into a Big Picture person, instead of someone who was selfishly fixated on petty details.  As I learned to let go of daily annoyances, my unoccupied mind became less restless, and I felt less stressed out in general.  At the same time, my physical health improved, and I rarely became sick.  I could have read about the mind/body/spirit connection until my eyes crossed, but I might never have fully believed or understood how true it was if I hadn't witnessed it within myself.

Loving-Kindness exercise

• The main feeling I had during this experience was one of release.  Because the focus was on loved ones, I was able to let go of my own problems and think only of others and about sending them good energy.  I found this comforting and beneficial rather than difficult, for a few reasons: thinking about "others" in general, outside my circle of loved ones, reinforced the notion of the interconnectedness of everyone, and worrying about silly things in my life sometimes makes me feel selfish.  I would especially recommend this exercise to those who are trying to change the way they think about the people they interact with, as a reminder that everyone is worthy and deserves a dose of "loving-kindness."

• The contemplatives observed by both Davidson and Lutz were asked to focus on compassion; I believe this is what the loving-kindness exercise simulates.  This is a sort of mental workout, which studies have shown to increase integration of different parts of the brain, and improve cognitive function.  You can benefit psychologically from mental training by taking time out of each day (as little as just a few minutes at first, then building up) for mindfulness exercises, much as you would for a physical fitness routine.  Dacher recommends doing this early in the morning, when your mind hasn't yet been clounded by the business of the day.  :)

Danke schön, Doktor Schultz

I have used autogenic relaxation techniques in the past, and prefer this modality to guided imagery (another popular relaxation method.)  The script of this exercise was highly detailed and described the sensations well, particularly the heaviness and warmth that come with deep relaxation.  I became relaxed quickly, and it was easy to let my areas of tension let go.  Taking inventory and turning attention to individual body parts instead of just telling myself, "Relax, dummy!" always helps with this.  The music was perfect: it complemented the exercise rather than distracting from it, and the calm flow helped to slow my breath.